Listening and Loving

I understand that in order to truly love others, we first need to truly love ourselves, for by understanding our own feelings and needs we come to understand how others may feel and what their underlying needs are.  (How those needs are being met (if at all) is another question.)

Needs can be categorized.  Air, water, and nourishment are needs for our biological functions as organisms.  Without the taking in of these outside substances we will not love live for long (although "long" is a relative term anyway).  Obviously we need a certain amount of space in which to function, and we need to be either free of or resistant to disease and other threats to our health.  Given that the environment we live in can be treacherous, clothing and shelter are often listed as needs that also preserve our survival, and rightfully so.  But, in the words of Jesus, "Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?" (Matthew 6:25)

If the aforementioned needs may be termed "physical" needs because they apply directly to our interaction with the physical world, then they are different from the emotional, mental, and/or psychological needs of which some speak.  Instead of being dependencies for our survival, these needs seem to indicate some higher aim of life that suggests stability and harmony with one's surroundings.

I admit that I am sceptical by personal bias of what many claim to be these non-physical needs.  This probably springs from the fact that I did not at first distinguish that "needs" could imply anything other than that necessary for our biological sustainment from day to day.  So to list other items as such seemed unnecessary; in fact, it seemed a sign of weakness, because if one being's needs is a larger superset of that of another, the former obviously requires more to live and be happy.  ("Happy", now that's a word that demands some explanation.)  Since we all want to live and be happy, the less required to achieve that the better, it would seem.

In addition, these other needs are much more subtle.  In the noisy and distracting world in which we live it is often hard to pay attention to our emotional needs and what our hearts are telling us.  I would say that it requires discipline, focus, and experience to really listen to the heart, discern what our needs are, and act in such a way that our needs are met in the optimal way possible.  On the other hand, it's pretty easy to notice a growling stomach, a parched tongue, a blocked airway, an icy hand, and so on.

Nowadays I acknowledge their existence, but only because I feel them not being satisfied in my own soul.  I still don't completely trust the apparent "authorities" on the subject because it is a matter that seems so personal and so difficult to prove.  Everyone's situation and life is unique, so I don't think there is one cookie-cutter solution to anyone's heart.  In addition, my religious views certainly affect my thinking, and lead me to discredit (though not in ignorance) many views that contradict my faith.

This is something I feel like I am in infant stages still in understanding, but I'm just glad I've been able to stumble across it because living life without understanding why I feel certain ways or why doing certain things is necessary is pretty hard for a why-er like me.